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The Rule of Threes

admin — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:22:03 +0000

I read The Catcher in the Rye three times. First, because I heard it was a popular book for assassins and serial killers. I read it to see what the big deal was, and I didn’t see the big deal. Then I heard it was supposed to be the autobiography of every [...]

Back on Schedule

admin — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 10:00:58 +0000

Welcome to Friday. Smile! I bought a book — Time Management for the Creative Person — because IT’S AN ISSUE. I’m praying Ritalin will be a silver bullet to the root of the problem, but helping me help myself is also cool. An enormous, obvious step I’ve just taken is simply realizing how [...]

Taking Initiative

admin — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 10:00:09 +0000

I wrote a joke on December 16 about how I hadn’t washed the dishes in three weeks. Yesterday, I washed those dishes. I see the doctor this week about obtaining a prescription for Ritalin. I now use paper plates and plastic cups. My apartment, having been furnished and arranged by two previous occupants, [...]

Everyone Who Might’ve Remembered is Dead.

admin — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 10:00:00 +0000

My higher functioning is directly related, I say directly related to how soon and how much coffee I consume upon waking. I’ve drawn a graph. No I didn’t. I was going to but I’m out of coffee. The Book of Eli (movie) Did you know Gary Oldman, the bad guy in The Book of [...]

You Look Like I Need a Drink

admin — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:12:56 +0000

I’m practicing to love my fellow man. Really I am, but don’t interrupt me while I’m reading, obnoxious actor-guy at Starbucks. If you noticed what I was reading, then it should be implicitly understood that I AM READING IT, so don’t talk to me. If you read anything in New York City that’s [...]

Go Outside.

admin — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 09:12:47 +0000

Almost three years ago I wrote a lengthy, detailed review of William Gaddis’s A Frolic of His Own. I worked hard on that review and I’ll stand by it. Hell, somebody even linked to it from Wikipedia. I expressed opinions that I doubt would find a listening ear anywhere in the physical [...]

Who the F is Derek Jeter?

admin — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 10:00:00 +0000

It is two AM here! I drew that! You see that comic? I DREW THAT FUCKER! Sorry, pumped. I wondered if I would ever draw something non-shitty, but then I DID. In a few months y’all won’t even read the words to my comic strips because the pictures will be so [...]

Person Song, A Song for People

admin — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 10:00:00 +0000

Allow me a moment to clear my throat. Thank you, sirs and madams. A few days ago I shared a few minutes of sidewalk conversation with a man who had the hygiene of a homeless fellow but was carrying two cell phones and a one-hitter. Oddly, he never asked for money. His greatest [...]

Gaming the System

admin — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 10:00:00 +0000

Looking forward to the weekend? Stop looking, it’s here! Go share a moderate amount of alcohol with people you love. Or people you kind of like. Or people you don’t like at all but who are paying for it. I signed back into GChat a few weeks ago. Besides using it [...]

We Share Tastes Across Various Media!

admin — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 10:00:44 +0000

Howdy, mother-fuckers! Welcome back and happy Wednesday. For years I’ve been knocking around a premise, the premise that opinions are not accurate demonstrations of our tastes. Rather, opinions are presentations of how we wish to be perceived. Do you really love THE SUN ALSO RISES, Mr Manly Man? Did you even read [...]